


Tell Me, Where Did You Go

by mal_the_sponge



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, You Have Been Warned, i repeat: no fluff, only angst and no fluff, this is only sad and no happiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2020-12-31 19:54:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21151301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mal_the_sponge/pseuds/mal_the_sponge
Summary: Noya gets a late-night call from Asahi.





	Tell Me, Where Did You Go

**Author's Note:**

> listen..,,,, i was hungry for angst and this happened
> 
> and again: this has no fluff or happiness whatsoever! just angst for the sake of angst sdfsd.   
this is a drabble to try and get the hang of writing angst and feelings! 
> 
> hope you enjoy!

It’s just a little past midnight when the phone rings. 

Noya starts, shaken from his thoughts. He groans and try to locate the damn device before finding it between the sheets of his bed. They’re still rumpled from that morning. He sighs deeply. What's the point in making the bed when the duvet will always get tangled at the end of the day? 

As the ringtone makes another round, he sees Asahi’s name flashing on the screen. Noya’s brow furrows as he plops down on the edge of the bed. 

Why is Asahi calling him this late?

It might be Saturday but Asahi is usually asleep by now. 

Unless it’s something serious.

With a lump in his throat, Noya hovers his thumb over the answer button. He’s already shaking slightly, his heart hammering in his chest. Normally he loves to talk to Asahi, always feeling at ease hearing his warm voice. 

He draws a steadying breath before tapping the button resolutely. 

“Noya?” 

As predicted, the familiar rumbling voice gives Noya a wave of calmness. It’s pitched so low and timid, he can almost see Asahi’s worried face; a small wrinkle between his brows, his mouth set in a tight line and his eyes slightly wide - he’s probably worried if he’s calling too late and woke Noya up from a satisfying sleep. Asahi always tends to worry about the smallest things, especially when it comes to upsetting or disturbing Noya (which he basically never does - and Noya’s sure to always tell him that). 

Noya grins. It’s still Asahi, the person he’s loved through so many years and hardships. Sweet and gentle Asahi, the person who’s stumbled his way into Noya’s life through volleyball practises, poorly hidden pining and fumbled confessions. He instantly felt like a warm hug - one that Noya can never get enough of. He feels a bit calmer, chuckling a bit as he responds in an elevated tone. 

“Hi, Asahi! You’re calling pretty late, y’know”

Asahi sputters a bit. His blush is almost audible. 

“Ah I’m sorry, Noya! I just... I need to talk to you about... something” 

Noya’s smile fades. 

Something about that sentence doesn’t sit right with him. Still he keeps his voice light in his reply.

“Okay. About what kind of something?”

Asahi hesitates. Noya can hear him rummaging on the other end of the line, can hear him gulping. 

Noya’s nervousness worsens. 

When Asahi doesn’t say anything in return, he figures it’s something difficult, something important. He knows it’s hard for Asahi to talk about serious things sometimes, that it makes him uncomfortable. 

Noya sighs lightly, his voice low and understanding. 

“You know you can talk to me about anything, Asahi. Right?”

Asahi exhales, making an affirmative sound. His nerves are almost bleeding through the phone.

Noya waits, braces himself for whatever is coming his way. He’s fairly certain his breath is gone, almost as if trying not to obscure Asahi’s voice when he finally do decide to speak again. But for a moment they’re quiet and everything seems to still. It almost feels like it stretches on forever. Noya can feel his hands getting clammy. He takes to wiping them on the sheets, changing the hand holding the phone. 

What is going on with Asahi tonight? Normally he doesn’t take this long to answer. 

Something must be  _ terribly _ wrong. 

Noya can feel his mouth drying out, making it difficult to swallow past the lump in his throat. He really wants to speak up again but the fragile silence seems too intrusive, almost looming over them. Like something horrible and world-breaking is going to happen if he decides to disturb it. Fortunately - or unfortunately - Asahi breaks it, clearing his throat and saving Noya from deciding. 

Asahi’s voice is firm but slightly shaking as it crackles through the receiver. 

“Listen, Noya... as much as I don’t want this to happen - I just can’t take it anymore.” 

Okay. That wasn’t what Noya had expected to hear. His hand tightens on the phone, his mind is completely still, mulling over these few words. He tries to wet his lips, feeling dread slowly creeping up his spine.

“What.. what do you mean, Asahi?” 

Asahi sighs on the other end of the phone. His voice is exhausted. It almost sounds like he hasn’t been getting sleep. 

“I just don’t think this is working out.”

Noya swallows. His stomach is in knots and his heart is racing. He takes to clenching the fabric of his shirt right over his chest. 

“This.. this what, Asahi?”

“This.. long-distance thing. Us. It’s not working out. I’m- I don’t...”

Asahi exhales harshly. Noya can almost hear him muster up the courage to what he says next. Even though he had a feeling, a deep primal fear, that this was where Asahi’s call was taking them, he was not prepared for his words in the slightest when they tone through the receiver. 

“I don’t have feelings for you anymore, Nishinoya” 

It’s like a slap to the face, hard and quick. Noya flinches, almost feeling the burning hot sensation of the words’ content. But most of all his breath stutters at Asahi’s use of his full family name. He hasn’t called Noya by that in over two thirds of the time they’ve been dating. It sounds foreign on his tongue, like it’s not supposed to be there. Not when he talks to Noya privately. 

But Asahi confessing that he doesn't have any feelings for him anymore. 

That fucking hurts. 

Of course it does.

His stomach drops. He’s pretty sure his lungs just gave out because he can’t seem to make them function. The phone is almost in a vice-like grip, his knuckles turning white. He tightens his hand around it even more and it gives a faint creaking sound. 

They’re both quiet for a moment. Noya can hear Asahi breathing on the other end of the line. He’s waiting. Waiting for Noya to absorb this, understand it. To accept it. 

Noya bites his lip. He simply just can’t. 

“I’m.. what happened?” he asks instead, hating the feeling of being so vulnerable. 

He hears Asahi swallow, exhaling slowly. 

“It’s just not working out.. and there isn’t really more to it than that.”

What.

That simply can’t be it. There must’ve happened something, something that Noya can fix and make up for again. Even if it wasn’t his fault. He’d still give everything to see Asahi smile again, to wipe his mind of worries. 

To take those words back. 

Noya’s confusion is quickly mixed with anger. His breathing turns ragged.

“What do you mean ‘ _ there isn’t really more to it _ ’? Something must’ve happened! Feelings can’t just disappear like that - especially not if they’re strong enough!”

His voice rings through the receiver, through the otherwise quiet room. 

He almost feels betrayed. Like their relationship was just a temporary thing to Asahi while he himself got way too invested in it. How long has Asahi waited to tell him this? A month? A year? A week after their dating started? 

He feels so stupid. 

Asahi’s voice however is calm and steady. 

“I wish it wasn’t like this.. I really do. But I don’t want to be in a relationship where I don’t have feelings for the other.That’s not fair to either of us” 

Noya almost laughs. “Oh, okay, so we’re just _done_ then? Just like that?”, he spits. 

Asahi sighs. 

“Look, I would love to meet up and discuss this but I don’t really feel the need to.” Asahi’s voice is tired. “We’re both busy and unable to visit, so it’d just get prolonged. And I don’t think I can take that..” Tired and dejected. 

Something in Noya boils. 

“You don’t feel the  _ need _ to??” He scoffs. “Because it’s way easier to just do it over the phone?! What a fucking joke...”

Asahi remains silent because he knows Noya - knows that whatever he says will only make it worse. The line is quiet, Noya’s slight pant the only thing to be heard. He’s trembling slightly, his breathing wavering. 

He grumbles something under his breath as another silence stretches between them. Suddenly that dread creeping up his spine roots into his thoughts, pushing aside the anger and replacing it with fear. 

This can’t be happening. 

They’re Asahi and Noya. The ace and his guardian. The couple that was most likely to end up together according to their teammates and friends. 

‘ _ You guys are already like a married couple! _ ’, they’d said. 

‘ _ It’s basically meant to be! _ ’, they’d said. 

It can’t be wrong. Asahi and Noya fit so well together, they’re basically soulmates, star-crossed lovers, call it what you want! 

They’ve been through more than what most people have with a lover. They’ve shared secrets, been a shoulder for the other to cry on, supported each other through thick and thin. They’ve shared kisses and beds, and everything in between that you’d do with a lover. Noya has been Asahi’s rock in his time of self-doubt and self-destruction, always been there to pick up the broken pieces of his boyfriend. And Asahi’s always been ready with a surplus of cuddles and understanding smiles whenever Noya felt like the world was against him, always ready to shield him from his worries of the future with a warm embrace. 

They’ve shared more than Noya has ever shared with anyone else in his life. Asahi holds such a huge part of his heart. He cares so incredibly deeply for this gentle giant with whom he was so sure to grow old and spend the rest of his life with. 

And yet. 

It wasn’t enough for Asahi’s feelings for Noya to stay. 

He feels a slight panic creep up on him, suddenly hit by the realization that this is actually happening.

This is Asahi, breaking up with him, because he doesn’t have feelings for him anymore. Warmth begins to spread behind Noya’s eyes, the familiar burn of tears setting in. He takes a steadying breath.

“Asahi I’m.. isn’t there anything I can do?”

His voice feels too loud in the fragile silence, almost like he’s shouting it. Maybe he should have.

Asahi exhales softly, his voice low and with a tinge of sadness.

“I’m sorry, Noya. I don’t think there is. It’s me having the problem, not you. And it’s not your fault”.

Noya’s breath hitches. This is it then. They’re done. No longer a pair. No longer boyfriends. Even though the words are there, Noya can't seem to comprehend it. It all just feels like a bad dream. 

“Asahi.. I- I love you” Noya almost chokes on a sob. “Please don’t leave me”.

He feels small, helpless. So many miles from the guy he cares so much for, unable to show him just how much. And unable to see Asahi’s face, read his emotions properly and know if he's really telling Noya the truth. 

Asahi’s breath shudders as he sighs, suddenly he’s sniffling. 

“I’m sorry, Noya. I’m so sorry.” His voice turns thick, tears prominent in his voice. “I still love you, just not like a boyfriend anymore.. but I still care about you. So much. I promise you that” 

Asahi's voice tears at Noya's heartstrings. It cuts to know that this is hurting him too, that it's probably just as hard. But Noya's still blinded by his own hurt, still confused and frustrated by what he's just been told. And he's really sobbing now.  He can hear Asahi’s close to the same if the heavy sniffling is any indication. 

They sit like this for a little while, just holding back from outright crying. Noya takes a deep breath, feeling a bit more calm. He hears Asahi’s voice, small and partly breaking. 

“I wish this didn’t happen, I really do. I wish things could’ve kept being like they were before but..” He trails off, making a noise away from the phone that sounds close to a sob. 

Noya stares into the room. Suddenly all those feelings of anger and sadness just bleeds out of him. He just feels empty. Drained and empty, and about ready to sleep for a year or two, or ten. 

“Listen Asahi-san. There’s nothing to do about it, like you said.”

He hears Asahi’s breath hitch, undoubtedly noticing the shift back to honorifics. Noya runs his hand through his hair, soft and flat from not being styled up that day. 

“Feelings can’t be controlled. And if they’re gone then..” He sighs harshly, letting his eyes fall shut. “Let’s just.. talk about this in the morning. Maybe find a day to meet up and talk properly”

Asahi sniffles one last time, shuffling on the other end of the line. 

“Yeah that’s- that sounds like a good idea.”

Noya strain to smile, even though he knows Asahi can’t see it. 

“Talk to you later then, Asahi-san” 

One last sigh crackles through the receiver. 

“Talk to you later, Nishinoya” 

The line dies, leaving Noya alone in the dark room, listening to the monotonous noise from the phone. He feels cold, cold and tired. His brow furrows. Suddenly feeling frustrated he tosses his phone onto his desk with a yell and roughly pushes himself up from the bed. 

He paces aimlessly around the little room, mentally running through the conversation he just had, letting the reality of it settle in. 

He no longer has a boyfriend. He no longer has Asahi. Because Asahi apparently lost his feelings for him. And there’s nothing Noya can do about it. Nothing he can fix. 

A heavy weight settles itself in his chest, mixing with the anger and confusion already boiling up again there. He doesn’t know what to do - but there really isn’t anything he  _ can _ do. 

Slumping back down on his bed, he directs his eyes to the floor, staring blankly. His breathing is harsh, quivering a bit from how much his body is shaking with frustration, with sadness. 

He fists two handfuls of his hair, pulling roughly as he bends forward over his knees, crumbling in on himself. He feels his chest constricted, his eyes burning as another round of tears comes crashing in like a wave. He bites his lip hard, pulls again at his hair, making his scalp sting. 

His breathing is ragged, his body shivering. His vision blurs as he finally let the tears spill, cascading down on the floor. He lets out a choked cry, letting out everything he’d been holding in. 

He doesn’t get sleep that night.

**Author's Note:**

> and then Noya woke up cuddled snugly by Asahi in their warm shared bed and realized it was all a nightmare!! haha..,,,, 
> 
> i hate myself for writing this but- i also love to suffer
> 
> (i especially hate myself for making Asahi the 'bad guy' in this scenario.,, but he probably had his reasons - and they're gonna meet up to talk so hey!! maybe they won't break up after all! in my heart they figure it all out together :')) )
> 
> Thank you for reading!  
Twitter @mal_the_sponge


End file.
